Italia

My heart is in Italy but I don't know where my future is.

magari

No, sto pensando che
non ritornano
sto pensando che
che sei poi ci riprovo
lo so che non è più lo stesso
me lo chiedo da un po’
quei momenti con te
se ritornano le parole con te
se ne vale la pena oppure vorrei più fortuna

e per ogni giorno
mi prendo un ricordo che tengo nascosto lontano dal tempo
insieme agli sguardi veloci momenti che tengo per me
e se ti fermassi soltanto un momento
potresti capire davvero che e questo che cerco di dirti da circa una vita
lo tengo per me

SEI PARTE DI ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

The police in SoCal

The police here in San Diego are so relaxed. There are no miles per hour signs on the road and every is a ''california stop offender.'' (I don't even know the speed limit here.) Only once a month I actually see someone pulled over. When I actually do see someone pulled over, I wonder what horrible driving offense they made!

Then this week, it was my turn. I was in LA and the flow of traffic was about 10 miles per hour on the 10, which is typical. I passed Mr. Policeman and he noticed my lack of seatbelt. I got a $150 ticket. UGH! This is my second no seat belt ticket. I am just really bad at wearing my seat belt.

Mission Calls

A friend of mine recently got her mission call to Tokyo Japan. They filmed her opening her call and then posted it on youtube.com. As I was searching for this on youtube.com, I found tons of other videos of people opening thier calls. I loved watching these! I must of watched these for atleast a half hour. Here are my favorite two. (I tried to just upload these video so you could watch them on my profile but I can't figure it out, so sorry you have to follow the link.)

**The first is kind of long so I would just watch until right after he opens the call and starts to cry.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=IifTVj0UXUM

I love this video for so many reasons.

1.) I love the brother on this bluetooth trying to locate the dad for the opening of the call.
2.) I love how the brother turns on the music, which I think aids the spirit so much.
3.) I love how the prospective elder cries when as he reads the call.
4.) I love how there are so many people there to share the experience.

**This video is hilarious!. The family is eating dinner as the prospective elder opens his call. It is only a minute or so long.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=boL-WIhMf2M

Here are the things I think are so funny.

1.) The family is nonchalantly eating dinner while he opens his call.
2.) The brother in the background is not even phased as his brother opens his call. When he announces where he is called the brother does not even look up! He just keeps eating as nothing special has happened! I just could not believe it.
3.) The mom! She does not even stop eating to celebrate the call!

This last video was just so far from my experience. When I opened my call and saw I was going to Italy everyone in the room started screaming. We celebrated for the whole night. There was tons of laughter, smiles, and dancing. I was so beyond excited and so was my family! Thanks family!

Vorrei che fosse amore, amore quello vero
la cosa che io sento e che mi fa pensare a te
vorrei poterti dire che t'amo da morire
perché e' soltanto questo che desideri da me
se c'e' una cosa al mondo che non ho avuto mai
e' tutto questo bene che mi dai
vorrei che fosse amore
ma proprio amore, amore la cosa che io sento per te

vorrei che fosse amore, amore quello vero
la cosa che tu senti e che ti fa pensare a me
vorrei sentirti dire che m'ami da morire
perché e' soltanto questo che io desidero da te
se c'e' una cosa al mondo che non ho avuto mai
e' tutto questo bene che mi dai
vorrei che fosse amore
ma proprio amore amore la cosa che io sento per te.

My Third Place

There is a theory that says everyone has three main places to frequent: home, work and the third place.

My three places are all very fluid.

1.) Home. My home has changed three times in the last year. Ohio, Italy and California.

2.) Work. My work: Spanish Teacher, Supervisor at Verizon Wireless, Tennis Coach, Panera Bread, Mortgage Broker, Bob Evans, Tour Guide, English Teacher and now Kindergarden teacher.

3.) Third Place. I do have a third place independent of my location.

In Ohio my third place was Panera Bread off sawmill. On saturdays I would go there and order a diet coke and use thier wi-fi for hours at a time. I looked for many jobs at that Panera Bread.

In Italy, I had a few different third places depending on the season. During the summer months, my third place was il mare or the sea. I love the mediterrean sea. I would go to the sea at 7:00am for a morning swim. I would go back at 1:30pm, after lunch, until 7:00pm. The mediterrean sea may be as of this day, my biggest love (Certainly, the most faithful!). Then in the winter months, I took retreat into Angelo's bar. He would give me free hot milk in a glass with a free pastry everyday. (This must be how I gained 20 lbs during my time in Italy). I would read the La Repubblica every day. Then talk to the strangers who came in. There were so many ''regulars'' such as myself. Giacomo, Franco and Giovanni. These men were well over 55 years old. I had the best discussions with these guys. After about a month, I too was a regular. We talked about everything under the sun: politics, religion, the health of the pope and most importantly the men in my life (men because it was plural at the time).

In California, I can't decide where my third place would be. It is debatable. It could be any of the following: our heated pool, the internet, reading books, or hopefully soon with summer coming, the beach.

I have been looking back at the last year and realized that nothing in my life would be considered stable. I am craving stability the last six months. I am proud to say that I am taking major steps toward that. I am starting my masters program in the fall. I have decided to enroll with the University of Maryland (pending my acceptance). My first year and a half will be online. Then my last six months will be on campus. I am getting a Masters in Human Resources! I am so excited for this. I feel it will provide me with the stability I want and need. Plus, I think I am a great people person and love to work an office environment. I am now trying to determine where my home will be. I have narrowed it down to either NYC or DC. I am gong to visit both this summer to aid my decision process. As far as work goes, for the next two years that will only be determined by my location until I finish my masters.

Grant's wedding

Grant and Stephanie

My Dad and brother

I have a job!

With the current economic situation in California, it has been more than difficult to secure a decent job. Despite the fact that 212 teachers were cut from this district alone, I was able to secure a job in the school district. I am teaching Kindgarden! Something I never would have ever considered for myself. I was thinking back on my one elementary ed class; one week into the class I knew that Elementary Ed was not for me. I must say that teaching is what I love but I have never been so sure of my Secondary certification. Anyway, the kids are so cute! I really do love interacting with the kids! I am excited to finish out the school year here. More to come....

Mallory!

This is my roomate Mallory. I had so much fun living with her. I was just looking at old pictures and thinking and almost a year has past since I left Ohio. I was thinking about some of my best memories with Mallory. I am just going to make a list of random memories.

Dressing up--either for costumes or for a fancy occasion. The picture above on the left is from Halloween. We dressed up many times for random events either to go somewhere together or seperate. We each had a lot of dates, I loved that time when we were getting ready for the date and the other kept the other company. Getting dressed up for church. Mallory would help me with my hair or accessories. I love those memories.

Walking with Mal--walking to Cheesecake with Mallory. It's a random memory but I had so much fun. Also, one time we were shopping at Easton and she was wearing heels and her stiletto got stuck in between two stones and she competely walked out of her shoe. Maybe I will put excerise here, one time we took a spinning class together at like 6am. We had so much fun.

Taking pictures on her computer--Photobooth provided many hours of fun! It seemed that every one who came over ended up eventually taking pictures on her computer.

Late night talks with Mal--we stayed up really late so many times. We would talk about life and our ward. We had so many life chats. We also could debate many things like politics. We could just pass hours talking.

Texting Mal--I got a text message from Mallory that went like this, "Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz broke up." She broke the news to me, it was a good thing if I had found out any other way who knows how how I would have reacted. I loved it!

Dinners with Mal--Mallory introduced me to the Roasted red pepper soup from Trader Joe's and we loved it. Some days I would be in charge of picking it up and some days she would pick it up for dinner that night. We also wold zip over to Panera Bread alot.

Shopping with Mal-- We would not go shopping alot but when we did we had so much fun. I remember when we went to vintage stores downtown and tried on all these old funky clothes in these funky dressing rooms. We went down to high street on a few occasions and went jeans shopping and candle shopping.

These are just a few memories I have with my fierce friend Mallory. Mallory always had my back and one time when I stupid boy broke my heart. She stood up to this person in my behalf despite it being really uncomfortable for her. Mallory, if you read this I hope you enjoy some of the random memories.

Eccoti!

Jessica, questa foto e' per te!

Ellen

Brooke and I went to the Ellen show! We had so much fun. We had to be there at 12:30 and filmed at 3:30. While we were in line we kept wondering if what we would get. We ran through every possible scenerio. We never expected what we really got. So, after waiting about 2 hours in line they shoved us all through security and we waited outside for a few more hours. After much anticipation we filed into the studio. Music was pumping and everyone was encouraged to dance (ellen loves dancing). The hour of before the show started it was just like a dance club. All we did was dance for an hour straight. Then Ellen poped out and she looked so great. They assign you to your seats and they gave Brooke and I the front row right by her DJ. We thought for sure we would get on TV. Everytime the camera was on us we would get really animated and cheesy in hopes that they would use that piece of footage. (Maybe we over did it as they did not even put us on once). During our wait in line they announced that they have had a hard time geting celebrity guests because of the strike, people do not want to cross the picket line. Ricky Lake was the celebrity guest. During the middle of the show they introduced the giveaways. The theme was Home Entertainment. She gave us a pack of HD DVD, including the Bourne Series. Then she gave us an HD DVD player to play them. After that she gave us a Play Station 3 with two new games. Then she gave us RockBand! (which is by far my favorite gift). Then on top of it she gave us a $400 gift card from Ikea. We had so much fun! After the show Ellen thanked us and told us to sit still. Her assistants came and told us to put our cell phones away and keep our hands free. The presents were all outside waiting for us. They file us outside and they pile on our hands the RockBand, the Play Station 3, the HD DVD player and give us a bag with the DVD's and Ikea gift card. We had so much fun and just going to a taping was worth it but walking away with presents was so much more fun!

I was tagged again

Okay, usually I don't play along with these things. I refuse to add applications on facebook and I am am still not sure how I feel about this tagging thing but I will write six things about me. So, 6 things about myself...

1.) I love Seinfeld. I could watch it all day every day. Often things I see in real life remind me of things from various Seinfeld episodes. Maybe it should be the other way around.

2.) I stand like a flamingo. I rest the side of my foot on the side of my knee. I get this from my mom and I could do it for hours.

3.) I love the Opera. I think mainly now because I speak Italian I can understand them but it is a passion. Even reading Operas now is fun to me.

4.) I am very ticklish.

5.) When I like a song I can't just sing it, I belt it at the top of my lungs no matter where I am.

6.) I love sitting down and leafing through actually devouring mail order catalogs like JCrew, Eddie Bauer, Victorias Secret, Potterybarn, and Urban Outfitters are some of my favorites.

Ellen 12 Days of Giveaways!

Brooke and I got tickets to Ellen's 12 days of giveaways and boy are we excited. I entered us becasue we live close to LA on a whim. I never really truly believed that we would be asked to go to the show. There are about a million people who want to go to this show and I thought our chances were 1 in a million. A couple of weeks passed and we did not hear anything. Then one day Brooke got a phone call from Carlos the head audience coordinator from the Ellen show. He confirmed our tickets and sent us this package with all the info. We go the 19th, we have to check-in at 12:30 and the show films at 3:30. We are so excited! We are excitedly waiting for this wednesday when we head up to LA. We are both really big fans of Ellens. She is so funny. But more than that, it is a 12 day of giveaway! I hope we get a juicer, no a plasma TV, no a computer, no a PS 3, no I really hope we get a car or a house. Itsn't it funny how greedy I got so fast. Make sure to watch on the 20th for me and Brooke on TV!

My passport

When I was younger I used to wish for a passport full of stamps.

Today on my way to the airport I was glancing at my passport and I realized it is almost full. I remember wishing for a full passport when I was a kid. I remember looking at my dad’s passport and pondering all the places in the world that I have never seen. After fifteen years and an unexpected life later my prayer was answered. My passport is full of memories. My Italian visa, stamps from France, England (after dating Nickja from London half my passport is filled with stamps to england), Ireland, Germany, Switzerland and of course Italy. Each stamp has so many memories. I had so much fun looking back and reminiscing (rammentando) of my adventures.

I have left Italy. It has been heart-wrenching.

Will my clothes ever dry?

I am getting ready to leave and I am for once in my life starting early to pack and to get ready. Usually, I wait until the very last minute. I can't tell if it is because I am excited or if I have unexpectedly lost my procrastination. (Probably because I am excited). So, on Sunday I sorted through all the clothes I brought here. I have to wash everything in advance because it takes days to dry clothes here in Italy in the winter. There are no clothes dryers so everything is put up on a line. It is so humid here that nothing dries ever. My clothes have been on the line for three days and still not dry. I have to pack on Thursday, in two days and have no hope that they will be dry. I just don't know what to do at this point. I have started to bring clothing in and put them over all the furnaces but the state controls the furnaces and they only come on for a few hours a day and usually my timing is off.

Fashions shows are prime time viewing

I am really going to miss being in Italy these next few months. A part of me feels Italianized. I drink warm milk now for breakfast. When I was in England for one week, I was dying for a plate of pasta. I don’t like to eat on the run any more. I think in Italian and I dream in Italian. I wear a nightgown just like they do. I embrace their crazy ideas. I can argue and fight in Italian. I express my opinion even if it is against everyone else’s (something that is very Italian). I even got my own Italian mullet. I love watching soccer with them. I will miss it and as I am getting ready to say good-bye I am feeling quite sad.

I love doing artsy things. I feel like I have a real creative side to me that I just love to express. I love clothes; to me fashion is an art. Whether you are wearing a designer Gucci dress or designer jeans to a skirt off from the street markets, fashion is an art that people wear. So many people think that it is superficial or material but honestly it is a type of art that everyone gets to experience every morning. I love it! I love opening my closet (which has no designer, actually a tiny bit) and picking out what I am going to wear that day. Sometimes, I try to think of all the details from my clothes, accessories even down to my shoelaces. It is an art. Sometimes, I don’t have to think at all. This is the beauty of this type of art. Today in church I wore red shoes, a black shirt, a smart black button-up with a green vest and a purple scarf tied in the classic Italian fashion. I have seriously enjoyed this fall in Italy as I think the Italians have an innate sense of fashion. I love that in Italy fashion shows are considered primetime viewing and you can get your own fashion show just sitting in a bar and drinking my glass of warm milk. Italians just seem to get it right. Sitting in a piazza you can see such extreme styles. You can see the giovani or the young kids wearing a variety of styles. They usually wear short skirts with boots and tights accompanied by a tight leather jacket. They have the most extreme hair styles, very textured and very sleek. Even the old people in Italy take part. They are so put together. They only leave the house with their best on. They are much more formal. It is not uncommon to see elderly Italian women with fur coats and high gloves on the city buses. Since there are many ways of being stylish in Italy and I love a country that accepts that with open arms.


My favorite quote from the devil wears prada:



Miranda: I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean. You're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar De La Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets? And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of 8 different designers. Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic casual corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of stuff.

There are so many gypsies in Italy. They are everywhere. I was in Florence giving a tour and a gypsie came up and asked my group and me for money. No one understand her except me because she spoke in Italian. She was just under five feet tall, had not showered and carried an old plastic cup with a weathered picture of Christ. This is a common occurance here in Italy. In my mission we were not allowed to give money because we used the consecrated money but now I could give money if I wanted. I rarely gave (yes, past tense) money for many reasons but that has now changed. This last gypsie who asked me money changed my life. In response to her question, I said "I'm sorry I don't have any money either." I feel content becasue I don't have work and I am very poor right now so it really is not lie. Usually this gets them to walk away without continuing and pressing. But this woman instead, took my hand and emptied her money that she had received that day. She gave me all her money she got that day. She looked at me and smiled and walked away. I was left there shocked, actually frozen or stunned. I could not believe what she did for me. I did not need her money as bad as maybe she did but she touched me in a way that no one ever has. I ran after her and said, "Listen I really don't need your money." She ssid to me, "Just as people help me I want to help other people." I was so touched by her and she would not take that money. With tearfilled eyes, I turned and faced my tour group and explained what just happened.

Yesterday in church there was a Halloween party. Well, as Halloween as you can get here in Italy. The missionaries organized it to take place just after english class so we could have alot of non members there. We went to the American base and bought Mountain Dew, Rootbeer, Grape soda, and Reeses Peanut Butter cups. There were pumpkins (also from the American base) that we carved. The party started slowly. I looked around and saw that everyone was just kind of standing around. I lead a group of people in dancing the Thriller. It was hysterical me leading a bunch of italians in dancing the thriller, acting like zombies. After that I kind of took control because no one else was. Then we bobbed for apples, played the egg on a spoon game, limbo and of course, something most italians love is line dancing. It was hysterical. Today, I have such a desire to watch a scary movie as it is Halloween. In Italy, they have started dressing up for Halloween but they only have the scary costumes. No spidermen or batmen only goblins, witches and zombies. It is much more graphic than our Halloween.

I come back to America in nine days and I could not be happier. I think it is easy for me to leave Italy now because I know that I will be coming back in January. If I was not coming back in January I would be devasted leaving at this point. I can't wait to be with my family. I love more than anything doing the simple things with them. I love doing errands with my Mom and Dad. I love driving my dad's car with Heather and Courtney and singing at the top of our lungs. I am so excited also because I will watch Star Wars with my brother Tyler. I found out that Brooke and Grant are coming home for Thanksgiving! I am so excited. I love my family and can't wait to be with them.

The backbone of the GOP

I love election time! The fact that after 200 years we are still using the same electoral process gives me such pride. So many countries have changed their electoral process in the past 100 years, the fact that we are still firm in our convictions that the founding fathers set up gives me such a defining sense of pride.

I developed a passion for it in 6th grade when we did a mock election with all of the fifth and sixth graders. I carried the electoral votes for Texas (I got really lucky). The candidates had to really butter me up to get my 34 electoral votes. It taught a 6th grader so many lessons about politics and elections. Ever since then my passion has truly lied in the same area, political science, history and economics. All are intertwined.

As I am trying to follow the election process now from a foreign country I am constrained to see everything from the internet. I have to be aware the different biases that each major websites carry. I did see a debate from Michigan and I was shocked to have seen that the Republican part has lost touch with its rich roots in the middle-class families. These roots run deep starting with Alexander Hamiliton followed by Abraham Lincoln and even up until Reagan.

I would think that every republican would start by putting themselves at the kitchen tables of middle-class families with ambitious kids. Their first questions would be: What are the barriers to their mobility? What concrete help do these people need to realize their dreams?

At this economic debate in Michigan this week, there was no talk of that. Instead they addressed, free trade, lower taxes and reduced spending. They talked a lot about the line-item veto and the Chinese currency. But there was almost nothing that touched concretely on the lives of the ambitious working-class parents who are the backbone of the GOP.

Sometimes the candidates seemed more concerned with massaging the pleasure buttons of the Club for Growth than addressing the real concerns of the middle class. They talked far more about cutting corporate taxes, for example, than about a child tax credit for struggling families.

At other times, they sounded as if they were running for a ceremonial post. The person who is elected president will need concrete proposals, but the GOP contenders scarcely have them. Mike Huckabee has some sketchy plans. John McCain answered one element of middle-class anxiety on Thursday with his new health care plan. Others seem to have decided concrete proposals are for geeks.

It has lost intimate contact with the working-class dreamer who longs to make good, the very backbone of the GOP itself.

Instead, this ground is being seized by a Democrat. Hillary Clinton has specific policy programs for members of the aspiring middle class. This shows great understanding and insight on her part. As she attains these essential votes she is positing herself very well for 2008. Under the Clinton plan, if a family making up to $60,000 a year put $1,000 into a new 401(k) account, they would get a $1,000 matching tax credit. The plan would create millions of new investors. Struggling families could choose mutual fund options and participate in the capital markets. They'd be encouraged to move away from a month-to-month mentality to a saving-for-the-future mentality.

Clinton's plan poaches on economic values that used to be associated with the Republican Party. This is why I think nowadays you can’t vote for a party, you vote for a person. Moreover, it undermines the populist worldview that is building on the left of her party. Instead of railing against globalization and the economic royalists, Clinton gives working people access to Wall Street and a way to profit from the global economy.

She will just have to secure the electoral votes of the correct states, such as California, Texas, Florida and of course, Ohio. Once representing Texas, I understand how imperative it is to secure it. I am not making a stance for Hillary. I truly don't think I will vote for her but I am just wanting to state my observations. I have not decided as of yet who will receive my vote.

Added on January 7, 2008. I am not supporting Hillary this was just an observation. I will not support Hillary.

Venezia, la mattina

When I travel I like to see each city at varying times during the day; early in the morning, lunch time, and of course the night. I have fallen in love with Venice. More accurately, I love Venice in the morning. Quite a romance has developed, I feel loved every time I go to Venice and I love Venice. It is a true love affair. There is nothing like Venice in the entire world. There are no cars in the city. For this reason it is the quietest city in the world. The whole city revolves around its location, meaning the canals. The mode of transportation is by boats. Try to imagine life without a car in the city. Mail, trash, ambulances and so much more are all parts of this culture that vary a great deal from other cultures. Because these are big projects that need to be completed these are all completed before anyone wakes up in the morning. Venice at 4 am is my favorite and I mean absolutely favorite place in the world. Mail is all delivered by boat to the correct neighborhood and is transported by hand until the actual address. Mailmen start work at 4:30 in the morning there. Most Venetians receive their mail very early in the morning. I still don't know how packages work yet? The next time I go I will have to make sure to ask. All the trash has to be brought out of the city by hand. The trash men don't drive trucks. They bring all the trash from the dumpsters to the nearest canal where depending on the amount is taken away in boat. I saw the trash men trying to drag an old desk which was thrown out. They had to transport this desk all the way to the canal where I am sure they had to call a bigger boat to come and get it. Venice is also the cleanest Italian city. They take very good care of the city. Every morning at about 6:00 am the city cleaners come out. They start with the streets; every street is swept and groomed. They then work their way eventually to the trash, bridges, and boats. They clean every ''waterbus stop.'' One of my favorite things to do in Venice is get lost, which is not hard. Every street ends in a different branch of the canals. It is virtually impossible to find your way around. Every little street in Venice leads you to a random canal where unless you want to swim across forces you inevitably turn around. I have been wanting to describe Venice for so long and I also want to explain my favorite other city. Piano piano.

Today was Sunday. It was the first sunday that I did not go to church in years. I am so sick. I have so much to write but today I just want to say that I missed church so much. Also, today was my first day with my new calling. I am the ward organist and my first day I had to find a replacement. I wanted to include a picture for a few days of the uber sleek school buses here in Italy.